Lately.

Since it may seem I have disappeared off the face of the Planet, to answer that question.
Yes, I have.
First off I've had the flu and that cold that seems to capture me this time of year.
Also I have done my far best to avoid that place(highschool)with every chance I may have.
I have become a zombie to prison break. I would say watch it, but you don't want to become like me. Its an addictive substance, I have withdrawals, I catch myself at school planning the next scene.
My work hours have been cut(due to exhaustion)which means me time, and believe me I have definitely taken advantage of that.
my hair is full of light curls. A perm was necessary. It's much recommended to those with fine hair.
I read a book, surprise! Coming from the girl who reads when forced. This was all on my terms.

When all said and done, I'm still alive.

The last few weeks have been useless, but I needed that brief time to continue.
Oh and that brother of mine who we thought would take a lifetime to tame is engaged. They are happy as can be and plan to be married in April.
(don't judge my spelling, spell check is down)
All is well.

Sometimes.

Sometimes, you end up loosing yourself trying to hold onto someone who doesn't care about loosing you. Sometimes life is a bit unfair. Sometimes love hurts our feelings. Sometimes friends disappoint us. Sometimes you just have to smile, pretend everything's okay, hold back the tears and walk away. But remember there's a reason why we're here and that's enough to wake up every morning. I've been hurt and sometime I will move on. I hope the best for him.

Gracie.

Lets just say I met someone. A new best friend.
Don't get to excited. She's of age four.
Background: every thanksgiving my uncle brings random people of all kinds.
He brings those who don't have family, or don't have anywhere to be on thanksgiving.
This time it was different. A mother shows up, running behind i see a little girl.
The mother has been in and out of jail. She is a drug addict.
Her four year old daughter Gracie has been through multiple foster homes.
 I fell in love with this little girl.
We spent the whole day together. We played Polly pockets. We jumped on the tramp. We played hide&seek. We took Sasha for a walk.
She reminded me of when i was a little girl. She was stubborn, so was I. She had a mind of her own.

The end of the day was near, i knew she would have to leave. I couldn't bare the thought of sending her away. I wanted her more then i have ever wanted anything. Her mother could never be there for her.
She ran to me and gave me one last hug. I didn't want to let go. ever. She whispered to me "lets play tomorrow". I wanted that so much. I told her I'd miss her. I hope to see her again, perhaps adopt?
When i grow up my daughter will be named Gracie.
I hope the best for little Gracie.

just because its true.

here we go.

:::[write seven random things about yourself, then have everyone else follow the trend]:::

this appeared on Cammie's blog awhile back, as we all know i forget things and this blog seems to be one of them. so now i have something to write about.

Here she is:

1.  i've always dreamed of living in a old cottage home and dressing it up.

2.  i enjoy driving and taking my dog Sasha with me. she is always up for an adventure. 

 

3.  i'm excited for college, ecstatic. yet i haven't applied or put any effort forth in actually going, its creeping up on me faster then i thought.

 

4.  i like  love fireworks. So much. July is a great month.

 

5.  i am terrified of bears. I dream of them often. weird i know.

 

6.  oh my bieber? yes, i had bieber fever so bad in fact i saw the movie 24 times or so.

 

7< my lucky number, never seems to fail me.

 

you go now.

letters

receiving a envelope with your name on it leaves me a bit giddy inside.
Ive made a new friend, well more than one that is, the mail box&them.
And when i say "them" meaning those who come in pairs, wear tags and dedicate 2 years to The Church Of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints. aka: missionaries, Yes I love them.
They have a very soft spot in my heart.
This is the transformation where the boy becomes a man.
I have become Pan pals with a few. Its been the highlight to my distorted life.
Take a minute, write a missionary.

week one

Senoritas started early on Junior year. Now i have senior-senoritas. Its bad i know. I have a tardy problem.
Some times i walk around PGHS and wonder what im even doing there. Where do i fit in?
I have no tolerance for those who throw people down in the pit, those who use negative judgement.
Im done with the whole bit, i could walk out of PGHS for good&I wouldnt look back.
considering Im saying this the FIRST week of school is a bit foolish.
Well folks, looks like another year that PGHS will be seriously avoided.
just think happy thoughts:
I love highschool.
I love highschool.
I love highschool.
Just remember to surround your self with nice people who have common courtesy.
it will make it easier for you, guaranteed.